I Am Not At Your Service!

I have a sneaking suspicion that my year of “ease” is going to be hard on family members.

I recently made a decision that made my life “easier” for a few hours. The decision didn’t make everyone happy.

Last Monday Nat asked if her girlfriend can come over for a play date after school. I said no because Sam had karate. I then did something I normally wouldn’t think of doing (just because it’s not in my nature to ask for help – something that I am working on!). I asked her friend’s mom if it’s OK for the play date to be at their house.

And like that I was minus a kid. Easy – peasey.

When Sam and I got into the car – she wasn’t happy. She asked why Nat got a play date. I said “because it was easy” She said “well if it’s so easy for Nat to have a play date – then it should be easy for me to have one with my friend on Thursday”. I said “not necessarily”

I went on to explain why it was easy.

It’s easy because other than picking Nat up after karate – no other action was required on my part (I’m starting to get the hang of this ease thing ; D ). So it was very easy for me to say yes to a play date on an otherwise busy afternoon.

Thursday isn’t so easy. Nat has dance at 4 and Sam has karate afterward. It would be too difficult to fit in a play date on that day.

She said then on Tuesday. I said it depends on what is going on that day. I suggested Friday.

She wasn’t happy with me.

This year of “ease” may very well become a “teaching” year.

A year where I teach my girls – that while I may work at home and have a very flexible schedule  (compared to other working parents) it doesn’t mean I’m at their service 24/7.

It’s Very Cool To Be A Girl

Watching my daughter get ready for school today reminded me that it is so very cool to be a girl.

It wasn’t that she did anything out of the ordinary. She got ready for school like she normally does. She went to school in her usual uniform of jeans, t-shirt and tennis shoes. Nothing special or spectacular.

But she has this other side and doesn’t hide it. In fact she embraces it for all its worth.

She loves her bling and twirls. We can’t walk through a department store without her stopping to oh and ah over the jewelery.  When we walk by the shoe department she’ll stop when she sees a pair of stilettos and ask if she can try them on as she’s taking off her shoe!

During the holidays I avoid the mall altogether with her. Walk through a store with holiday gowns and we are hopelessly side tracked. Lost within a maze of sequins and organza.

While she loves to dress up and wear sparkly (Although sparkly is not an official word in the English dictionary – it’s a word used often in our house!) stuff -  she’s not afraid to put on jeans and tennis shoes so that she can fully enjoy the playground.

I love that! And that’s why it’s soooo cool to be a girl.

30 Days of Thanks – Day 17

Yesterday I wrote about how I am thankful for the people in my life who “hear” me.

Today I had my first parent / teacher conference with my 2nd grader’s teacher and I walked away feeling profoundly grateful for her. She “gets” my daughter and I am eternally thankful she does.

My daughter is a very smart girl but will never let you know it. She wears her brains on the inside – so to speak. She is a social butterfly and leans toward the creative end of life. Her teacher sees that and honors her for it. At the same time she also acknowledges the intelligence that is on the inside.

Giving that her teacher spends more time with her than I do, it’s comforting to know that my daughter is in such understanding hands.

30 Days of Thanks – Day 12

I’m thankful for a sense of humor…especially today. My 7 yr old wanted the sink faucet in her bathroom pink. I told her it couldn’t be done and blew it off – my bad. This morning when I walked into her bathroom she was brushing her teeth and part of her faucet was pink.

She took her stickiest brightest lip gloss and painted the faucet – pink. I had a choice at that moment. To lose it or laugh. I choose to laugh about it because it was actually pretty funny and the faucet was very pink. Even as I write this I’m chuckling about it. She didn’t do it because I said “no” – she did it because I told her it couldn’t be done and she was determined that it could.

So we compromised. We’re leaving the sink and faucet as is and will paint her 1/2 of the bathroom whatever color she wants (as of this morning she wants baby blue). Of course this leaves her sister’s half unpainted and well I do believe we’re about to have a two-color bathroom.  I could fight it by why? The bathroom is only used by them and we have a separate guest bathroom. Besides it might be fun for them – especially since so much of what they have is the same.

Why Blended Families Are A Lot Like the United Nations

This is the second marriage for my husband and I. We put a lot of thought into our relationship and didn’t rush into anything. Having been through a divorce and now having a child to think of as well we took things very slooooowly. We’re coming up on 5 years. We dated for 3 and our 2 year wedding anniversary is coming up in February.

Every September since we’ve been together we start working out the holiday schedule. I have my daughter from a previous marriage and he has a daughter from his previous marriage. My ex has remarried and so has my husband’s ex. That means there are 6 busy adults to contend with. Plus school schedules, winter recitals and school concerts to take into consideration. This year after having worked out the holiday schedule AND the summer vacation schedule we had to submit our schedule to the other parents to see if they were OK with it.

There is of course the back and forth that happens…I can’t on this day but I want on that day…etc. I got to thinking about this and it reminds me of the United Nations.

Each nation/parent comes together – each with their own agenda/schedule – and try to make decisions that are best for the world/child while advancing their own needs. Of course there is always one rogue nation/parent that refuses to play nice and then the negations start. I’m happy to say that this year went fairly smoothly. So far the “rogue” nation/parent has decided to play nice. I’ve heard it say that diplomatic relationships are more art than science and I believe that to be true. What worked last year may not work this year and it’s always to best to be “diplomatic” (see definition number 5 here) when dealing with holiday schedules and a rogue nation – I  mean parent : D